This colloquium talk is a rumination on the relational potential of regurgitative acts. Contributing to the field of queer of color critique, I explore the many ways vomiting and nausea serve as expressions of excess and empathy in response to minoritization. I argue that vomitory affects and erotics open up possibilities for an ethic of care and compassion against those forces that serve to sicken, marginalize, and debilitate. In this talk, based on my in-progress book manuscript, I invoke a hopeful and vital feminist utopics of the flesh to enliven readings of pained autobiographic retchings, puke-stained celebrity suicide, disordered eating practices, and rage-fueled poetics and performances. These scenes guide analyses attuned to the specifics and limitations of existing paradigms within Chicanx/Latinx studies, psychology, and queer and trans theory. With this talk I am challenging us to turn toward that which nauseates, and to celebrate the messiest and most unruly aspects of our social and erotic attachments. Locating this potentiality in a woman of color feminist ethic of fleshy empathy, I call for an anti-supremacist and cross-racial queer politics built in part on loving re-citations, regurgitative rebellions, and modes of relational healing.
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